Oh Macsyma! Oh Vaxima! Oh MuPAD and Reduce! Oh Axiom and Derive, how easily you did seduce! Oh Maple! Oh Mathematica! Oh FORM and PARI! Asked to crunch untold numbers of symbols hairy! Oh Schoonschip and Theorist and FELIX and Weyl! Computing and calculating, all in good style! Oh Aljabr! Oh Paramacs! Oh Theorist and FLAC! How soon will it be before you blow the stack? Oh GNU-calc and SENAC! Oh STENSOR and SHEEP! Hunting for systems with memory steep! Oh SIMATH and Magma and Macaulay and KANT! Tell me that you can, not that you can't! Oh MuMath! Oh Ricci! Oh AMP! Oh JACAL! Is is true? There are problems you can't tackle? Oh Galois, Mercury, Calculus and LIE! From the massing symbols, do I see you flee? Oh SIMATH and UBASIC! Oh Numbers and Cayley! The problems aren't easy that we see daily! Oh XPL and PFSA and every other system I have omitted today! We ask you to accept our sacrifice Of bad poetry, Of good toiletry, Of hopeful clarity, Of CAS parity. With these words, we declare these games (er, conference) officially open!!! Michael Wester (May 16, 1995) [Musical accompanyment provided by John Prentice and Richard Liska]